Jump to content



Search



Help fund HadIt.com. Please note HadIt.com is NOT a non-profit, there is no tax deduction for helping to fund HadIt.com Veteran To Veteran LLC

We have been very lucky since 1997 in being able to fund the site from advertising and my own pocket. Unfortunately my pockets are empty and revenue for the site is down. So if you want to help keep the site funded please use the button below and help fund the site.





Toggle shoutbox Shoutbox Open the Shoutbox in a popup

@  chuck57thSig : (30 October 2014 - 05:51 PM) Sarti07, It's Under (Va Claims And Research) Http://www.hadit.com/forums/topic/59064-Prep-For-Decision-Phaseprovisional-Rating/
@  sarti07 : (30 October 2014 - 02:43 PM) Hello, I Just Posted A Topic About Prep For Decision.. I Have No Idea Where To Find It! Lol
@  carlie : (28 October 2014 - 03:42 PM) Reelnrod - Just Pick A Topic That Corresponds To Your Stuff And Post It
@  reelnrod : (28 October 2014 - 10:11 AM) So, How Do I Post A Topic?
@  Thadine : (28 October 2014 - 08:21 AM) Irrrl
@  Thadine : (28 October 2014 - 08:18 AM) Fishing License
@  Thadine : (28 October 2014 - 08:14 AM) Thadine Quick
@  red : (27 October 2014 - 12:14 PM) Anyone Heard Any Updates On Flying Space A For 100% Disabled Vets?
@  maxwell18 : (27 October 2014 - 10:49 AM) I Did Contact My Congressman Jeff Miller, Let's See What Will Happen
@  maxwell18 : (27 October 2014 - 10:48 AM) @britton
@  Tbird : (27 October 2014 - 04:26 AM) Thank You Larry S For Your Contribution To Our Funding Campaign
@  britton : (26 October 2014 - 07:33 PM) Everyone (Veteran's) Should Recive A Memo From The Dept Of Veterans Affairs ****notification Of Medication Scheduling Change****
@  britton : (26 October 2014 - 07:24 PM) Meds That Are Consider To Be Schedule Ii Narcotic...pain Meds Like Hydrocodone Ectt Ect,,
@  britton : (26 October 2014 - 07:22 PM) As I Understand We Only Can See The Va Dr's Every 28 Days To Renew Our Prescription Meds A New Law Went Into Effect Oct 6Th 2014....i Only See Problems Problems Problems With This...grrrrr
@  maxwell18 : (26 October 2014 - 03:52 PM) This Is Maxwell18 Would The Person Who Contacted Me (Vern2) Please Contact Me Again, I Attemped To E Mail You It Returned No Reply. Thanks
@  Tbird : (26 October 2014 - 05:12 AM) Thank You Maxwell18 For Your Contribution To Our Funding Campaign.
@  Notorious Kelly : (25 October 2014 - 07:53 PM) Max- Contact Your Congressman- Dea Has Got Docs So Cowed They're Afraid To Dispense Tylenol
@  maxwell18 : (25 October 2014 - 07:10 PM) Anybody Having Problems Getting Pain Pills (Norco) Filled Us Navy Base (Nas Whiting Fld Milton Fl). Had A Prescription For 90 Norco Pills For 30 Days, 3 A Day For Pain, Got 30 For 30 Days. That Will Last Me 10 Days. Another Thing That Our Government Is Screwing With Us. I Don't Know What To Do, Don't Want To To The Va, Don't Know What They Will Either. Anybody Goy Any Ideas. 
@  Burt : (25 October 2014 - 10:28 AM) Does Anyone Else Here Wear A Don Joy Armor Knee Brace From The Va?
@  red : (24 October 2014 - 10:10 AM) Any News On Space A Flying?





Photo

And So It Begins...

Posted by hedgey , 04 June 2012 · 1537 views

If I'm understanding this blog thing, this is an appropriate place for me to do my rambling and ranting, instead of in forum threads. This way, when I go off on tangents, I'm not derailing someone's thread and/or possibly getting someone's question waylaid and lost.

If I'm wrong about what this blog is for, someone tell me!!

But I think this is for thing like:

The other night I was at the stove stirring something. DH was beside me, cutting veggies and we were talking about how I miss my mother because she had a special knack with the recipe we were doing. DH put his hands on my shoulders and was consoling me but he had his hands too close to the back of my neck. I freaked out.

This isn't something that has happened very often with DH, but if I'd had a knife in my hand instead of a spoon, he would have been seriously hurt. I don't want to go into details, but an Ativan helped me get back down from the ceiling, and he was very understanding. But sad, because it was sad for him to know he could make me feel so terrible. He understands because he has the same kind of response when approached from behind or grabbed suddenly.

I'm feeling despondent about it. I struggled, struggled, to keep my reaction under control, because I didn't want to distress him. Just thinking about how I felt makes me tense and I can feel rage simmering. I need to go take a damned pill now.

Then they (therapist, VA, family) wonder why I don't want to go out.

This was in my kitchen, in my home, in my bunker, with my best friend and dearest partner activating the monster response.

Uff.




Photo
Sergent Emmons
Jun 27 2012 12:24 PM
I here ya m8 I dont go out much and react with out thinking as well...luckily it's been mostly my mouth..
but it makes it hard on my wife, she is super! and understands that I don't have the control of my emotions like most other folks.
I am working on stopping my self from having knee jerk reaction to a negative situation but now and then it just sneaks out of me..many of us have this problem and each of us has to find the mental tools to help us
over come it.
I don't think we ever get over it really just learn to mask it and hide it from others.

good luck on this issue

Sgt Emmons
  • Report
So it's been a long time since I posted at all. It's been really dark around here since our daughter moved out. Well, mainly since the fight, though it wasn't that so much as finding out how desperate she was to get away from us. I haven't let myself think about it too much . My therapist is always trying to convince me that I'm important to my family, but it's getting hard to hold onto that. My daughter was the only reason I kept on living for so long. What do I do with knowing that its been hell for her? My husband saysvhe needs me, but how can that be true? I'm afraid to move to turn my head. I'm writing here because it's not paper that anyone can find or read, they don't knoe this is here and won't read it. Words are always misunderstood and confused. Better I should be going.
  • Report

I think this is the best place for this, because now I know I'm not the only one that feels this way. 

  • Report

November 2014

S M T W T F S
       1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      

Recent Entries

Twitter

Recent Comments

0 user(s) viewing

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Tags

    Search My Blog

    Latest Visitors

    • Photo
      JewBacha
      05 Jun 2014 - 04:45
    • Photo
      titlewave
      15 Mar 2014 - 15:57
    • Photo
      Loose Cannon
      03 Dec 2013 - 13:20
    • Photo
      doubleD
      28 Sep 2013 - 22:17
    • Photo
      JT24usn
      21 Sep 2013 - 22:33

    Categories

    Google Shared Items