I've not been feeling well or doing well at all...all of this recent stress is getting to me in a very bad way. Very bad. Last week I called my tdoc, told her it was urgent that I needed an appt--she said the soonest she could see me was June 2nd. Lovely. She didn't even have time to talk to me on the phone. Nice.
I mean it's bad folks....suicidal thoughts and all. Just not good stuff going on here.
So today I went to the walk-in clinic at the Dayton VA. Just like I've been told to do when things get super crappy. It's actually on my list of what to do when I'm feeling suicidal.
Filled in my form. Checked the box that said "Are you feeling suicidal?"...I said yes. Might as well be honest.
And I waited......and waited....and waited. About an hour passed by and the receptionist told me that they were trying to locate the PTSD lady to see me.
I didn't care who I saw.
She said if they couldn't find her, I'd have to go over to the PTSD clinic (it's in another bldg) and see someone there. Except they don't have a walk-in service. Well, she said that's just what she was told.
Another 20 minutes went by.....nope, they never could find the PTSD lady; they weren't even sure she was at work today. WTF??!!! All this time and they aren't sure she is even at work???
So they turned me away.
They didn't turn any of the men away.
But they turned me away.
Said I had to go to the PTSD clinic bldg and be seen there. I told them there is no walk-in over there...they only do appts...they said they were just telling me what they were told to tell me.
BS....I just left.
Suicidal and all.

I suggest the VA ER.
jmho,
carlie

That's almost a guranteed admission. And I refuse to be admitted to that hell hole!!!
Sorry, don't mean to take that out on you......

I'm just so upset....
All of the men in the waiting room (for walk-in) were seen quickly.....I was left waiting well over an hour and turned away

purple,
If you are suicidal now perhaps an admission should be done.
You still have a minor aged son that needs you around.
carlie

that place only makes it worse....it would've helped to be able to unload some of this crap. but they couldn't even understand that.
what do they care anyway.

purple,
Hadit has a blog area, maybe it would help you to start
a blog here (if you don't have one) and post what you
are going thru on it.

Also,
I agree - they may not care but they are fully funded to
provide service's to you.

carlie

The way to get seen in a reasonable time period is to tell them you are going to off yourself. It worked for me.

I agree with Carlie. Purple go ahead and unload here on Hadit, it's ok. Alot of us have been there too. I felt the same way last week. And I understand about the admission thing, they don't care sometimes. But if you don't want to be admitted please, please, please release it here. We love you

May God bless you and I hope your day turn into lots of smiles.

Jmack

Purple:

Hang in there. Like Carlie said go to ER if you have to see someone. Don't get upset cause you think VA has decided just not to see you. Go to the Patient Rep and ask for help. Hell if it was me I would go to the Administrative Offices and tell them that you want to talk to the BOSS. I bet someone will fix it from there.

Good Luck

Oh, they know I'm suicidal...I even put it on the intake form for the walk-in. Didn't seem to make any difference to them.
The pt advocate for the mental health clinic wasn't there today. They said they were "short-staffed" because of the holiday weekend. So not my problem.
I just don't get it.

I have a hunch though. Retaliation. I was worried about this. Retaliation for me getting Washington DC-level reps looking into the women's clinic and now the cardiology clinic. I was warned years ago about this. I was warned that if I wanted to get good care there, I needed to stop filing complaints. This came from more than one medical-type person. One was those exact words, another was indirect wording and came from the former Prime Care Chief.

Just seems like it's what is going on.

Retaliation crossed my mind also.Go see the Patient Rep or the Head Honcho at the VAMC in Dayton.

x
x
x


Purple, I wouldn't go near the VA if I was feeling suicidal. Find yourself a sliding-scale community counselor through the yellow pages. tell them what happened at the va, there's many counselors who are pro-veteran and have an understanding of how dysfunctional the VA system is! A Domestic Violence coalition can give you some leads, or the schools might have a counselor or a medical clinic might have a social worker, etc. You just need someone to talk to, how about a minister or priest? Just thinking out loud, do hang in there with us. you are not alone. ~Wings

Hi Purple, I hope your feeling better, if not when I am going through a rough patch I try not to dwell on all the negative and I try to take my thoughts to the simplest level and realize the good going on in my life. Your story really pissed me off, that is one thing you should not have to wait for. I called my mental health clinic last week feeling very similar to what you are and the nurse was pretty rude and short on the phone and told me June 16th. So you are not alone with the frustration or your mood. It will get better soon.

purple,
Maybe you can check this out at your VA.
carlie


Click to view attachment

Interesting, thanks for the post Carlie.

Carlie-I don't think I've seen that offered at Dayton, I'll ask them.

I'm going to call there today and ask to talk to the pt rep in the mental health clinic, if she's in today, and let her know what happened yesterday.

Wings-I'll look into sliding-fee scale care again. Money is just a huge problem.

I just spoke to the pt rep--the facility one, not the mental health clinic one--and she didn't sound very happy. She was going to find out what happened and call me back. I also told her about how the pharmacy reps were able to talk to several docs...but I got turned away. Maybe I have to show up with "freebies" in order to get seen......

Been trying to call the mental health clinic all morning...they have their main phone line going to their answering machine again; they do that alot! They are such idiots.

Good Purple, the pt rep sounds caring and professional. Question: what did your mental health doc tell you to do in cases like this? Mine has given me instructions in my clinic notes for days like these. Yes, us mom-veteran's need help too. Do you have a domicillary or Vet Center - maybe help there.(free coffee&donuts).

Thanks for posting to us, got a kiddo here says 'mom, I can't talk, I have to call a friend', and stomps off. Works for her, more of loner myself 'cept animals!

best to ya,
cg'up2009!

Well, as I suspected...the pt rep has never called me back. I mean, it wouldn't take her that long to find out what the hell is going on.....it's probably taking them all longer to get their story straight.

As far as what has my tdoc told me to do....LOL....I just did it. She has told me to call her...which I did last week and was "promptly" scheduled for an appt two weeks from when I called her and she also didn't have the time to talk to me on the phone; so that was a bust.
She also has told me to go to walk-in....we all see how that turned out.
She has told me to call the 1-800 #...I've done that before and gotten hung up on.
She has told me to "be around people"...oh that's funny. Most of us with severe PTSD know what that's like.
Yup, she's just full of...........uh..........ideas.

The VA has a suicide hotline call it and tell them what happened.

That is just ridiculous, I hope you can get a hold of some answers tomorrow. Hope you feel better soon, and you are definitely not alone.

It's almost 4pm. Still no call. I've called the pt rep earlier today...nothing.
But I did get a very interesting letter in the mail today. It was sent to all of the PTSD pts. It was dated several days ago--before my incident at the walk-in clinic.
There is only one pdoc (psychiatrist) in the PTSD clinic for meds and the ltr states that he has left the PTSD clinic and they don't know when they will have a replacement. So...no one in the PTSD clinic now to see for meds. That's nice. The ltr goes on to say that if you need to see someone in the meantime, you are to......................................................are you ready?.................................go to the walk-in clinic!!
OMFG.
It just gets better and better.
So this letter was from the PTSD coordinator and had her name & number on it---oh happy day---so I called her. Left her a msg. Of course I haven't heard anything back from her either.

Time for IRIS. The pt advocate has had more than enough time....well over 24 hrs, and I've called her twice with no return call. And now this letter.

Oh.....have I mentioned lately how much the Dayton VA SUCKS!!!

Good Luck

Just called the Director's Office.
I tried to called the Mental Health Clinic...no one would answer the phones. I called all the numbers I knew. This is a common happening in the MHC.
I tried calling the pt rep again....this time her phone just rang and rang and rang.
So I went to the top.
Got the pt rep on the phone very quick...funny how that works. Her excuses were: (1) That she hasn't been able to get her msgs off of her phone, (2) She has just been very busy (gee, doesn't that mean that alot of ppl are complaining????), and (3) That she can't get ahold of anyone in the mental health clinic either. What? I told her why can't she just take the elevator up to the 7th floor.
There was actually a long pause.
She said she's been too busy to leave her office. Oh BS. I've been past her office many times and it's empty. Besides, there are two pt reps...she's just too freakin' lazy.
So she "promised" she was going to page the acting mental health chief and call me back before she leaves today (she actually works until 1830).
We shall see.
Anyone want to bet their stimulus money that she won't call me back?

Update.
Nope no call from the pt advocate.

Did get a "cold call" from a doc in the mental health clinic. I have no idea who this doc is, never heard of him, never seen him before. He said he was to call me because he was told I was "in the other day and needed to see someone"..........well, no shit sherlock.
I could barely understand him.
He kept asking if I needed to be admitted there.
I told him that admitting a woman vet who is a victim of MST to a locked ward with all male vets is nothing more than pure torture.
He went silent.
He then wanted me to come in and see him tonight at 7pm. Sounds great....except I have no transportation. Son has the car at baseball practice. Other son is at work.
So he said I'm to come in at 0845 tomorrow morning and a doc will squeeze me in between pts...and he told me to take extra sleep meds tonight since I haven't been sleeping.

I've had to add the Dayton VA phone # to my verizon "friends & family" because I call them so much.....how sad is that.

I get that a lot from the doctors at the VA, that is not being able to understand a word they are saying. Is there some ad on TV or newspapers in foreign countries telling them to be a doctor at American VA hospitals and they can earn their degree in as little as three months? Just kidding, I have pretty good doctors, it just one of my doctors is from Russia and the other is from India, and I am constantly saying "What?"
That patients advocate is lying right to you, that is sad. She can get her lazy butt up and go to the seventh floor. Isn't her job to deal with the severity of the case first, I would think yours would be up at the top. And you can not tell me she could not simply call you? Well good luck at your appointment and I think some heads should roll on this one.

Yeah, I've dealt with her before. She's horrid. Practically have to drag any help out of her at all. That is why I usually skip over her, and the Director's office and just go straight to IRIS. The Director's office isn't any better....can't get past the secretary there.

The doc I spoke to told me that I might be waiting awhile tomorrow since they were working me in between scheduled appts.....yet, again...it's during regular "walk-in" time. Things might get ugly tomorrow; because as I see it....I'm a "walk-in" from Tuesday.

Back from the VA. Was actually seen quickly this morning. I was given several excuses for what happened on Tuesday. I was told that I wasn't seen there because I don't have a doc in that clinic (so what?)...also because the person normally doing walk-ins was out sick (so what?)...and that my paperwork "fell thru the cracks". Wow. Took them 3 days to come up with all of those lame-ass excuses. None of which work.
They said the reason all of the other vets were seen is because they were already assigned docs in that clinic. So???
And that's my fault how??

So we did the few minutes of chit-chat thing. I talked while she typed. Isn't that annoying as hell. She put me back on meds. Assigned me a doc. Scheduled me a f/u appt for one month and said have a nice weekend. Oh, I feel so much better. NOT.

Then I get home and there is a msg on my cell phone. From my tdoc...she said she just noticed that I was at the walk-in clinic and wants to know what is wrong? OMFG. She had the nerve to say that I sounded fine when I talked to her last week.
These ppl are driving me over the edge.

I would have asked that lady WHAT DOES SOUNDING FINE SOUND LIKE? If you put on your intake sheet you're suicidal that doesn't sound like you're fine.

Maybe you should have showed her a razor blade.

Jay

Yeah, the mental health clinic is very busy right now playing the "we'd better CYA" game. I was even told today that walk-in is probably....probably....only for medication issues. My tdoc in the PTSD clinic told me this (over the phone); but she isn't real sure either. She was trying to sound pissed at how I was treated on Tuesday. Maybe she was really pissed, idk. But the severe lack of very basic communication is such a joke. With these two clinics in two separate physical locations....it makes it very hard. And they don't even help each other out.

My tdoc today told me to still keep the walk-in clinic on my list of things to do when I need urgent care because she cannot see me on an urgent basis. Like I'm ever going to do that again. Just like I would ever call the suicide hotline number again after being hung up on......twice. I know what goes on when vets call that number. So my list of things to do for help just dwindles.

Tdoc and I talked on the phone today for quite awhile. I'm to see her Tuesday at 1030.

And nope....never heard from the pt advocate. Not a word. But I did send a rather ugly IRIS complaint about this whole mess...and included her in it.

I wish I could say I was feeling better. Honestly...I feel like crap. Thanks everyone for "listening"....

Update...
Still feeling like crapola. Some really ugly stuff going on in my head, I don't want to trigger anyone, so I'll just leave it at that.

I did e-mail the lady in Washington DC about my cardiology stuff to let her know I had my records finally, and I told her what happended with the mental health clinic. She's not happy. She is looking into it.
I told her I sent an IRIS complaint about it already and included the fact that the pt adv never replied to me despite my several calls and her several promises...I said this is why I usually bypass that office because they are useless; and this was a prime example.

I also had a Gyn appt on the base today and the women's clinic at the VA *still* has not sent all of my records over to the base....it's been months since they were told to do that by this lady in Washington DC. Filled her in on that as well. I had to have some biopsies today. Now I'm hurting like hell.

I just truly need to be put out of my own misery......

Get yourself admitted via the ER to mental health in-patient.

John,
while that is most likely what i need....that would make me worse.
locking up a woman vet who has PTSD due to MST with all male vets is nothing more than cruel and unusual punishment. i know, i've had it done to me many times before. i've been groped by male pts, stalked by male pts, it's horrid and not a "safe" environment. when i told the nurses and docs, they did nothing.
this is how many women vets are really being treated by the VA. this is the ugly truth.
this is what the VA does to us.......and then wonders why.

WOW, Purple!!! That VAMC should be on the news under investigation.

So true....something I've been trying to do for years.
I believe at the last ranking of VAMCs, Dayton was either the 3rd or 4th worst in the entire country!....They are indeed living up to their sorry reputation.

Something someone else posted in another thread made me think why two of the other male vets were probably seen and I wasn't.....they were obviously OIF/OEF vets!! I say this based on their age. The other male vets were older, so not sure what was up there....but yup, never thought of that until now. Neither of those two had to wait more than 5 minutes.

purple,

Print this out to take with you !

Veterans Affairs (VA) Benefits - Treatment Priority Groups

Veterans who are 50 percent or more disabled from service-connected conditions, unemployable due to service-connected conditions, or receiving care for a service-connected disability receive priority in scheduling of hospital or outpatient medical appointments.

http://www.workworld.org/wwwebhelp/veteran...rity_groups.htm

OMG... I am so pissed I'm shaking.
I just got a call from the other pt advocate at the Dayton VAMC. She was attempting to answer why I wasn't seen at walk-in.
Here's the latest excuses:

She said that the regular clerk was sick that day and someone else was filling in. The lady filling in thought my regular therapist was a different Dr. Smith (they have 2 of them) and that's who they were lookin for.
I told her this person was lying. I put the entire docs name on the form because I know they have 2 Dr. Smiths. I told her that I have a copy of the form if she needs to see it has proof. I told her that if the clerk personnel cannot read then perhaps she should consider a career at McDonald's flipping burgers. I told her I wanted the real reason and not a bunch of lies.

The next excuse was that I wasn't seen because at the time I "wasn't an established patient in the mental health clinic" what???? Oh yes. Apparently at the Dayton VA, the main mental health clinic is completely separate from the PTSD clinic and the services offered by the main clinic are not available to the lowly PTSD clinic pts. This is true. She told me this just now. PTSD pts are not "allowed" to use walk-in. WTF! I asked her what are PTSD pts supposed to do? She didn't know. I told her that someone needs to find out and find out pretty damn quick.

She says that all of the male vets were seen because they were "established pts" and I wasn't.

Is this a bunch of BS or what???????

I would just drop the whole thing now and save yourself some misery. You have beat this thing to death.

What they did was wrong but everytime you communicate with them it just gets you pissed and angry and you're just aggravating your mental illness.

Jay

Oh no. That's exactly what they want. And that's the problem with the entire VA system. Most people just give in and accept the crap that the VA deals them and tucks their head between their legs and walks away----not me. I know better. I deserve better. I will not take their crap. I hold people accountable for their actions, always have, always will.

I encourage all vets to never take any crap off the VA or any of their employees. They work for us. Not the other way around. Without us they would not have jobs. I've reminded a few of them of this when they try to get all high and mighty with me. Nope, none of them scare me.

Persistence pays off.
I received a call today from an administrator in the management office at the Dayton VAMC whom I've spoken with before on other issues. He said that they wish to have a face-to-face meeting with me and all of the mental health folks involved in this incident as soon as possible.
I'm meeting with them on the 23rd.
Me and my tape recorder.

The last I heard (from the pt advocate) was that PTSD clinic pts were "not allowed" to use the walk-in services of the mental health clinic. What? Oh, I don't think so. This will be changed.

Their reasoning is that PTSD clinic pts are not "registered" pts of the actual mental health clinic. They keep the two clinics completely separate. Ridiculous.

That is good. I am glad that you got a meeting. Hard for anyone to lie when they are face to face