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What Ptsd Feels Like To The Mst Survivor. Www.vetwow.com. Advocate: Susan Avila-Smith.


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11 replies to this topic

#1 Tbird

 
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Posted 08 February 2012 - 07:27 AM

A really good explanation. You are not alone, this stuff we go through, other MSTer's go through it too.

You Tube Video


What Ptsd Feels Like To The Mst Survivor. Www.vetwow.com. Advocate: Susan Avila-Smith.

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#2 mysticcherokee usn vet

 
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Posted 08 February 2012 - 10:03 AM

WARNING! THIS MAY HAVE TRIGGERS!

Am I actually sposed to say what it FEELS LIKE here, or is this just claims stuff?

If so, Ill be glad (not really) to start: Do you remember that movie called Smallville, where all was in black and white, a world wioth no color. Its a bit like that, and the movie:Groundhog Day combined.Like an overcast day that never leaves, and one nevr feels calm or safe or at peace. Thats feeling that ya used to get on the first Tanning dayof the year and you lay down on the blanket to tan, and your thoughts just drift with the clouds, and clouds take on shapes. PTSD TAKES THAT LEVEL OF RELAXATION AWAY. YOU CAN NEVER DO IT NATURALLY, without drugs again. Hows that for IMO, my beginning, eh. It sucks expotentially. Its just waiting to die of natural causes, unless one doesnt want to wait....Im waiting, but didnt always. Mystic

#3 Tbird

 
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Posted 08 February 2012 - 10:08 AM

Mystic - I understand.

The forum is really for helping claimants, but it is hard to separate the claim from the trauma, so I imagine the forum will contain a number of different things depending on members needs. We will play it by ear.

#4 mysticcherokee usn vet

 
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Posted 08 February 2012 - 10:17 AM

Thanks TBird. Thems 2 very nice words, and I likem, seriously. I understand.They say soooo much, for just two little words.Thank you very much TBird, and anybody else that understands:) mystic

Edited by mysticcherokee usn vet, 08 February 2012 - 10:18 AM.


#5 celli

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 01:09 PM

WARNING! THIS MAY HAVE TRIGGERS! Am I actually sposed to say what it FEELS LIKE here, or is this just claims stuff? If so, Ill be glad (not really) to start: Do you remember that movie called Smallville, where all was in black and white, a world wioth no color. Its a bit like that, and the movie:Groundhog Day combined.Like an overcast day that never leaves, and one nevr feels calm or safe or at peace. Thats feeling that ya used to get on the first Tanning dayof the year and you lay down on the blanket to tan, and your thoughts just drift with the clouds, and clouds take on shapes. PTSD TAKES THAT LEVEL OF RELAXATION AWAY. YOU CAN NEVER DO IT NATURALLY, without drugs again. Hows that for IMO, my beginning, eh. It sucks expotentially. Its just waiting to die of natural causes, unless one doesnt want to wait....Im waiting, but didnt always. Mystic


Mystic, I didn't realize this site was just for claims. I came on here looking for some support for how I am feeling. My husband just went into a residential VA ctr for PTSD (he is a 9/11 survivor). I have PTSD from MST. The way you described how MST feels ....well, I couldnt say it any better. I feel abandoned by him, even though I know he went into this for help. I was wondering if there is another website for support for someone like myself? I haven't tried an MST support group yet but am thinking about it. Problem is I have a young daughter and now that my husband is away getting the help he needs I am left alone and holding the ball for everything. We are just married over a year. Yeah, I know....this is both our second marriage. I almost wonder if I should have just stayed alone with my daughter as his being gone is affecting her now. Sorry...I know I shouldn't be going on about this....I just don't know where to turn. Mystic, the last part of your post really resonates with me.

"Its just waiting to die of natural causes, unless one doesnt want to wait....Im waiting, but didnt always. Mystic"

I look forward to the day of that coming peace. I already tried and put my family through hell so I wouldn't do that again. I just take my daily dosage, day and night, and pray to get through the day for my daughter's sake. My family doesn't understand me. My husband is consumed with his issues, I guess as am I. IT's a cluster F'ck. I wonder if things would have been different if I told someone back then....I wonder.....hmmm....I'll never know. Celli.

#6 mysticcherokee usn vet

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 01:33 PM

Mystic, I didn't realize this site was just for claims. I came on here looking for some support for how I am feeling. My husband just went into a residential VA ctr for PTSD (he is a 9/11 survivor). I have PTSD from MST. The way you described how MST feels ....well, I couldnt say it any better. I feel abandoned by him, even though I know he went into this for help. I was wondering if there is another website for support for someone like myself? I haven't tried an MST support group yet but am thinking about it. Problem is I have a young daughter and now that my husband is away getting the help he needs I am left alone and holding the ball for everything. We are just married over a year. Yeah, I know....this is both our second marriage. I almost wonder if I should have just stayed alone with my daughter as his being gone is affecting her now. Sorry...I know I shouldn't be going on about this....I just don't know where to turn. Mystic, the last part of your post really resonates with me.

"Its just waiting to die of natural causes, unless one doesnt want to wait....Im waiting, but didnt always. Mystic"

I look forward to the day of that coming peace. I already tried and put my family through hell so I wouldn't do that again. I just take my daily dosage, day and night, and pray to get through the day for my daughter's sake. My family doesn't understand me. My husband is consumed with his issues, I guess as am I. IT's a cluster F'ck. I wonder if things would have been different if I told someone back then....I wonder.....hmmm....I'll never know. Celli.

Celli, I JUST came on. Ive been doin this stupid paperwork! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Nuff of ME! I was seriously depressed when I said that, but yeah untreated thats the deal. What weve got on our plate. And thozse aholes wonder if we should have QUALITY OF LIFE considered with all the money they throw at us. HA!We arent graspin for that, because in our black and white world, quality of life......AHHHHH! What an effin Joke!

Id be happy(loosely termed) with being able to feel joy or happy. You need to get to a good dr, and get on some meds. My neuro is board certified and a neuro pschychiatrist, and I cant say enuff good things about him. HE TRYS HIS BEST, for a patient that at best feels okay.

Can you afford one of those, or get a shrink and a good therapist. Theres some sites on the web, but ya need one on one. Whaddya say? THANKS FOR POSTING ME! I DO CARE< and I understand! HUGS TO YOU! YOU NEED GOOD DRUGS!!Mystic

Edited by mysticcherokee usn vet, 28 February 2012 - 01:35 PM.


#7 mysticcherokee usn vet

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 01:37 PM

Oh vet wow3 is supposed to be good, but ya need an invite. If we can talk here a while, mebbe something can be worked out. Mystic

#8 mysticcherokee usn vet

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 02:00 PM

Hes got me on two anti=depressants, and my ocd on this claim isnt so bad.

effexor and anafranil. They work primarily on anxiety, even tho theyre ant-depressants. A good dr, will know if suffering more from anxiety (stress as in ptSd) than stress and they get mixed up all the time. yet the antis often treat both.if it doesnt work you havent found the right one. I know, as I have experience in these matters. Mystic

#9 mysticcherokee usn vet

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 02:07 PM

Im worried bout you celli. when was the last time you had a vacation? Planned one. Why dont you plan a vacation while hes gone?
Hubbs and I are savin our pennies for buying a rv. We want a big one, but thyve small ones. Two grown ups and a kid. Go see the wonderful Country we have. Many many places to go. Drive from point a to b. Camp along the way. When the youngen is outta school. Shed LOVE THATT! you two! Need to get OUT OF THAT HOUSE, check out GODS COUNTRY! Mystic

#10 celli

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 10:32 PM

Im worried bout you celli. when was the last time you had a vacation? Planned one. Why dont you plan a vacation while hes gone?
Hubbs and I are savin our pennies for buying a rv. We want a big one, but thyve small ones. Two grown ups and a kid. Go see the wonderful Country we have. Many many places to go. Drive from point a to b. Camp along the way. When the youngen is outta school. Shed LOVE THATT! you two! Need to get OUT OF THAT HOUSE, check out GODS COUNTRY! Mystic


Mystic. Not sure why I wasn't notified that you responded to me. I'm not very technical and I'm sure through the tears the past few days and lack of sleep I'm not too quick on the draw. Thank you for your concern. I do go the VA for my meds. I see a Psychiatrist every few months and he renews or changes. I haven't found anyone good at the VA that I can actually talk to that I feel cares so I just go for the basics and meds. I am on effexor (morning and night) clonazapam when needed for anxiety attacks and at night to help me sleep. I think the latest thing he has me on is trazadone to help me sleep but it gives me such a hangover I usually dont take it. No, I haven't had a vacation in a year. I contacted my childhood BFF in FL and I think I might plan a getaway to visit her while my husband is at the VA getting his help. I also am thinking about going to an MST support group tomorrow night at the VA hosp. Have you tried one of those? Does it help? How can I message you privately? I read briefly something about marching on DC. Hey, if you guys are gonna do that...count me in. Honest to God...something needs to be done...so many of us. God bless you and thank you again for caring. It helps to know someone, even one person cares when you feel like no one really does....((hugs))

#11 mysticcherokee usn vet

 
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 07:46 AM

Mystic. Not sure why I wasn't notified that you responded to me. I'm not very technical and I'm sure through the tears the past few days and lack of sleep I'm not too quick on the draw. Thank you for your concern. I do go the VA for my meds. I see a Psychiatrist every few months and he renews or changes. I haven't found anyone good at the VA that I can actually talk to that I feel cares so I just go for the basics and meds. I am on effexor (morning and night) clonazapam when needed for anxiety attacks and at night to help me sleep. I think the latest thing he has me on is trazadone to help me sleep but it gives me such a hangover I usually dont take it. No, I haven't had a vacation in a year. I contacted my childhood BFF in FL and I think I might plan a getaway to visit her while my husband is at the VA getting his help. I also am thinking about going to an MST support group tomorrow night at the VA hosp. Have you tried one of those? Does it help? How can I message you privately? I read briefly something about marching on DC. Hey, if you guys are gonna do that...count me in. Honest to God...something needs to be done...so many of us. God bless you and thank you again for caring. It helps to know someone, even one person cares when you feel like no one really does....((hugs))

Celli, Im glad you saw my post. I was wonderin where you had gone. Sounds like a plan, eh! You NEED a vacation, and if its Florida, then its Florida, I dont like the sound of what Im hearing bout the va and just the basics. thats what I was doin. But that trauma group sounds fan friggin tastik! woo hoo, yes go ! That great. ya need people that can relate. I wish we would march on washington, yeah buddy that would be t*ts! Im feeling kinda goofy this am,and hope all is well with you. Ill try an pm you with my email, tho its just my name at hotmail.com. you can figure it out probably. HUGS!! Mystic

#12 carlie

 
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 06:50 PM

I also am thinking about going to an MST support group tomorrow night at the VA hosp. Have you tried one of those? Does it help?


celli,
You might want to also check out:
www.vetcenter.va.gov

Tell them it relates to MST.




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