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      How to get your questions answered. A few observations, and requests of all members. All folks who come here are volunteers who do this on their own time and their own dime.To avoid burning out our best contributors please follow these guidelinesf you are reading a post and it reminds you of a question you want to ask, start a new topic, if you place your question in someone thread it will be difficult to distinguish your question from the original poster, you will get better results posting a new topic with your question. 1. Before Posting please do a search and see if your question has already been answered. If you find the answer print it out and put it in a file to use as a reference file, I find this helpful myself. 2. If you can not find the answer and you do post a question, please print out those answers and refer to them to avoid duplicate questions. 3. Refer to the Frequently Asked Questions4. Duplicate questions will come up from time to time but the keeping them to the minimum will lighten the load on the regular volunteers.5. Respect folks privacy do not request their personal phone numbers for claims help, it is inappropriate and not why they are here.6. Keep the topics focused on veterans issues, in closing Search first Search ... Ask second.it may save a lot of time or at the very least enlighten you.
    • Listen Live Every Wed 5:30 PM CST to SVR Radio, Veterans Issues are discussed with various guests.

      Listen Live Every Wed 5:30 PM CST to SVR Radio, Veterans Issues are discussed with various guests. Please check the little home I am carving out for our SVR partners. http://www.hadit.com/svr.html
    • A bit about Tbird and HadIt.com for those who've asked...

      The following is on my About page, but some have been asking how this all happened. So here is my little story. Tbird US Navy 1983 – 1990 E-6 HadIt.com the website domain registered Jan 20, 1997 the domain is registered and paid for through Jan 21, 2023 at which time I plan to register it for another 15 years Lord willing and the creek don't rise. I guess the best place to start is Jan 1991; I had gotten out of the navy Dec 1990. At my separation seminar, there was a DAV rep Jim Milton he told us to bring our medical records in and he would look through them for us and let us know if we should file a claim with the VA. Well, bless his heart, he opened my medical file, reads the first insert, looks me straight in the eye, and says you will be 50% for the rest of your life and he would file the claim for me. 50% was for surgery I had in the service. True to his word he met with me and talked with me for a long time filled out my paper work and urged me to file for PTSD. I would not file the PTSD claim, nor even discuss it. By Feb 1991 I had moved to the San Francisco bay area and was staying at a friends apartment and pretty much I was just a puddle. In desperation one night I called suicide hot line, I had no job, no idea about going to the VA. They talked with me for a long time and explained to me that I could go to the local VA hospital even if I did not have insurance. Now, I know what you are thinking if I was 50% why didn't I just go to the VA in the first place, two reasons 1, this was Feb 1991 and the 50% didn't come till May and 2, even if it had come through it is unlikely that I would have had the mental acuity at the time to put the two together. I relate this here because it is where so many of our brothers and sisters are coming from, perhaps where you started. Fuzzy and unsure, in pain and sometimes homeless they come to the VA hospital for help. And that is where I ended up. Up to the pysch ward I went, blah, blah, blah, a few days later I was released with a promise of a call from the out patient program, which I would soon be entering. Blah, blah, blah, after many missed communications, and no call backs I was at the Day Hospital everyday M-F. And this brothers and sisters is where I began to learn and formulate my plan for HadIt.com. Veterans, veterans everywhere…I spent a year in the day hospital and about another year at a sheltered workshop before I got back on my feet. So I just talked to veterans everyday waiting for appointments, waiting for prescriptions, waiting for a vet rep and I started to learn the system. While in the navy I was data analyst and had to learn a 5 volume manual and just about anything you were suppose to do was in that manual. So I figured there must be a manual on how to do a VA claim or at the very least regulations. So I found out about the Code of Federal Regulations, United States Code, Veterans Affairs Manuals and so on and so forth. Of course this was 1991/1992 I was living in a tiny studio apartment in a particularly bad neighborhood, working in a sheltered workshop making a nickel per envelope I stuffed throw in PTSD and you will see that it was a difficult task for me to get somewhere where they had copies of these, let alone that they would let me look at. And there was so much knowledge around me, it was like the gold rush in those days, I could just sit on a bench a veteran would sit down next to me a little conversation later I had another nugget, I made copious notes. Phone numbers to call, ask for this guy or that guy he'll give you the straight scoop and they'd slip me a piece of paper with a number on it. You want to read this regulation or that one and another slip of paper into my hand. I spent a lot of time on those benches watching the squirrels they gathered their nuts and I gathered mine :) So I'm thinking I could put a little handbook together print it out and hand it out at the VA. Or perhaps fliers. Still formulating, time goes by, 1994/1995 I am being treated for PTSD regularly and doing and feeling much better and I go to work for a company as a marketing systems analyst and I discover the internet. Well let me tell you that was perhaps one of the most significant life changing events I have ever experienced. And I might add finally a positive one :) It seemed only natural to me that surely there must be a website that contained all the knowledge I wanted, well as it turned out not so much, lots of stuff but I wanted to get straight to the claims information and there was a lot of stuff to wade through to get to it. So taking my lesson from the squirrels earlier I started to gather, gather, gather…and learn HTML and work as a marketing systems analyst and work my claim. 1996/1997 major PTSD cork blows and unemployed. Working my claim, working the website. 20 Jan 1997 register HadIt.com domain name right after getting off the phone with the VA and saying I've had it with this. As fate would have it the old DAV board goes down just as mine opens up and folks start to wander in. So HadIt.com has two main components the website which supports the discussion board with links, articles, research resources etc. The website starts to grow, I can't tell you how many times I had to switch servers for space and features. I continue on a downward trend and in 1998 ended up back home in St Louis living in my sisters basement in therapy and working it, I swear I would have swung a dead chicken around my head at midnight naked if I thought it would have helped. The website continued to do great during this time, I just stayed in the basement bought new software, new books, and learned how to make things work and I continued to use this knowledge to make HadIt.com better. My 100% finally came through from the VA and I had a friend who is an advocate who helped me thru my SSDI claim, he was literally at my side thru the entire process and that came through for me. My therapist and sister continued to try and get me to leave the basement, but to no avail. At some point in 1998 or 1999 I put a counter on the website and was shocked to discover how many visitors we were getting. Time goes by my sister gets married and I move from the basement to the upstairs, there is much celebration that Aunt T is living in the light again. More time goes by and I settle into my life in St Louis and spend more time on the site trying new things, finding more information. 2003 I buy my own home VA loan. For years now I have just considered HadIt.com my job and I get up every morning go to the office and work for several hours, take an afternoon break and see where the rest of day takes me. I have a place in the office to use the computer and a comfortable to place to read journals and articles and take notes. Blah, blah, blah so that is my story and HadIt.com's intertwined.
    • HadIt.com Pass It On Cards

      Hi I've updated our HadIt.com Pass It On Cards. They are in a PDF format you can print them out cut them there are 12 to a page. If you have found HadIt.com helpful and would like to pass it on to other veterans this is an easy way to do it.I hope you find them helpful, feel free to leave a few anywhere veterans gather, veterans centers, veterans hospitals, public libraries, be creative. Please make sure though, that if you want to leave some at any business you ask permission first.Here you go http://www.hadit.com...it_on_cards.pdf
    • VA Training and Fast Letter Forum Index

      VA Training and Fast Letter Forum Index The following is the index with links to the various Training and Fast Letters plus a few miscellaneous. These letters are not necessarily in the original formatting. I have tried to present them in an easy-to-read form instead of some forms as originally presented. Some of the paragraphs were WAAAAYYY too long. lol - HadIt.com Member fanaticbooks Something to be aware.... Some of these letters may be rescinded, outdated, or otherwise no longer viable. I have still included them because sometimes they provide additional insight or just plain more information than the newest version. Use them wisely. The oldest letters will display at the bottom with the latest letters displayed at the top, all in sequential numbers. Coding of the letters... FL = Fast Letter TL = Training Letter First two numbers = last two digits of year of origin Training Letter http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/40694-va-tl-00-07/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/40693-va-tl-00-06/ Fast Letter Number Title http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/44262-va-fl-11-15/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/44260-va-fl-11-13/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/44261-va-fl-11-11/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/44310-va-fl-11-09/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/42151-va-fl-11-03/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/40957-va-fl-10-49/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/40958-va-fl-10-46/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/40959-va-fl-10-45/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/40960-va-fl-10-42/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/40961-va-fl-10-39/ http://www.hadit.com/forums/index.php?/topic/40962-va-fl-10-35/ 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What Ptsd Feels Like To The Mst Survivor. Www.vetwow.com. Advocate: Susan Avila-Smith.

12 posts in this topic







Posted

WARNING! THIS MAY HAVE TRIGGERS!

Am I actually sposed to say what it FEELS LIKE here, or is this just claims stuff?

If so, Ill be glad (not really) to start: Do you remember that movie called Smallville, where all was in black and white, a world wioth no color. Its a bit like that, and the movie:Groundhog Day combined.Like an overcast day that never leaves, and one nevr feels calm or safe or at peace. Thats feeling that ya used to get on the first Tanning dayof the year and you lay down on the blanket to tan, and your thoughts just drift with the clouds, and clouds take on shapes. PTSD TAKES THAT LEVEL OF RELAXATION AWAY. YOU CAN NEVER DO IT NATURALLY, without drugs again. Hows that for IMO, my beginning, eh. It sucks expotentially. Its just waiting to die of natural causes, unless one doesnt want to wait....Im waiting, but didnt always. Mystic

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Mystic - I understand.

The forum is really for helping claimants, but it is hard to separate the claim from the trauma, so I imagine the forum will contain a number of different things depending on members needs. We will play it by ear.

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Thanks TBird. Thems 2 very nice words, and I likem, seriously. I understand.They say soooo much, for just two little words.Thank you very much TBird, and anybody else that understands:) mystic

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WARNING! THIS MAY HAVE TRIGGERS! Am I actually sposed to say what it FEELS LIKE here, or is this just claims stuff? If so, Ill be glad (not really) to start: Do you remember that movie called Smallville, where all was in black and white, a world wioth no color. Its a bit like that, and the movie:Groundhog Day combined.Like an overcast day that never leaves, and one nevr feels calm or safe or at peace. Thats feeling that ya used to get on the first Tanning dayof the year and you lay down on the blanket to tan, and your thoughts just drift with the clouds, and clouds take on shapes. PTSD TAKES THAT LEVEL OF RELAXATION AWAY. YOU CAN NEVER DO IT NATURALLY, without drugs again. Hows that for IMO, my beginning, eh. It sucks expotentially. Its just waiting to die of natural causes, unless one doesnt want to wait....Im waiting, but didnt always. Mystic

Mystic, I didn't realize this site was just for claims. I came on here looking for some support for how I am feeling. My husband just went into a residential VA ctr for PTSD (he is a 9/11 survivor). I have PTSD from MST. The way you described how MST feels ....well, I couldnt say it any better. I feel abandoned by him, even though I know he went into this for help. I was wondering if there is another website for support for someone like myself? I haven't tried an MST support group yet but am thinking about it. Problem is I have a young daughter and now that my husband is away getting the help he needs I am left alone and holding the ball for everything. We are just married over a year. Yeah, I know....this is both our second marriage. I almost wonder if I should have just stayed alone with my daughter as his being gone is affecting her now. Sorry...I know I shouldn't be going on about this....I just don't know where to turn. Mystic, the last part of your post really resonates with me.

"Its just waiting to die of natural causes, unless one doesnt want to wait....Im waiting, but didnt always. Mystic"

I look forward to the day of that coming peace. I already tried and put my family through hell so I wouldn't do that again. I just take my daily dosage, day and night, and pray to get through the day for my daughter's sake. My family doesn't understand me. My husband is consumed with his issues, I guess as am I. IT's a cluster F'ck. I wonder if things would have been different if I told someone back then....I wonder.....hmmm....I'll never know. Celli.

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Mystic, I didn't realize this site was just for claims. I came on here looking for some support for how I am feeling. My husband just went into a residential VA ctr for PTSD (he is a 9/11 survivor). I have PTSD from MST. The way you described how MST feels ....well, I couldnt say it any better. I feel abandoned by him, even though I know he went into this for help. I was wondering if there is another website for support for someone like myself? I haven't tried an MST support group yet but am thinking about it. Problem is I have a young daughter and now that my husband is away getting the help he needs I am left alone and holding the ball for everything. We are just married over a year. Yeah, I know....this is both our second marriage. I almost wonder if I should have just stayed alone with my daughter as his being gone is affecting her now. Sorry...I know I shouldn't be going on about this....I just don't know where to turn. Mystic, the last part of your post really resonates with me.

"Its just waiting to die of natural causes, unless one doesnt want to wait....Im waiting, but didnt always. Mystic"

I look forward to the day of that coming peace. I already tried and put my family through hell so I wouldn't do that again. I just take my daily dosage, day and night, and pray to get through the day for my daughter's sake. My family doesn't understand me. My husband is consumed with his issues, I guess as am I. IT's a cluster F'ck. I wonder if things would have been different if I told someone back then....I wonder.....hmmm....I'll never know. Celli.

Celli, I JUST came on. Ive been doin this stupid paperwork! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Nuff of ME! I was seriously depressed when I said that, but yeah untreated thats the deal. What weve got on our plate. And thozse aholes wonder if we should have QUALITY OF LIFE considered with all the money they throw at us. HA!We arent graspin for that, because in our black and white world, quality of life......AHHHHH! What an effin Joke!

Id be happy(loosely termed) with being able to feel joy or happy. You need to get to a good dr, and get on some meds. My neuro is board certified and a neuro pschychiatrist, and I cant say enuff good things about him. HE TRYS HIS BEST, for a patient that at best feels okay.

Can you afford one of those, or get a shrink and a good therapist. Theres some sites on the web, but ya need one on one. Whaddya say? THANKS FOR POSTING ME! I DO CARE< and I understand! HUGS TO YOU! YOU NEED GOOD DRUGS!!Mystic

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Oh vet wow3 is supposed to be good, but ya need an invite. If we can talk here a while, mebbe something can be worked out. Mystic

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Hes got me on two anti=depressants, and my ocd on this claim isnt so bad.

effexor and anafranil. They work primarily on anxiety, even tho theyre ant-depressants. A good dr, will know if suffering more from anxiety (stress as in ptSd) than stress and they get mixed up all the time. yet the antis often treat both.if it doesnt work you havent found the right one. I know, as I have experience in these matters. Mystic

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Im worried bout you celli. when was the last time you had a vacation? Planned one. Why dont you plan a vacation while hes gone?

Hubbs and I are savin our pennies for buying a rv. We want a big one, but thyve small ones. Two grown ups and a kid. Go see the wonderful Country we have. Many many places to go. Drive from point a to b. Camp along the way. When the youngen is outta school. Shed LOVE THATT! you two! Need to get OUT OF THAT HOUSE, check out GODS COUNTRY! Mystic

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Im worried bout you celli. when was the last time you had a vacation? Planned one. Why dont you plan a vacation while hes gone?

Hubbs and I are savin our pennies for buying a rv. We want a big one, but thyve small ones. Two grown ups and a kid. Go see the wonderful Country we have. Many many places to go. Drive from point a to b. Camp along the way. When the youngen is outta school. Shed LOVE THATT! you two! Need to get OUT OF THAT HOUSE, check out GODS COUNTRY! Mystic

Mystic. Not sure why I wasn't notified that you responded to me. I'm not very technical and I'm sure through the tears the past few days and lack of sleep I'm not too quick on the draw. Thank you for your concern. I do go the VA for my meds. I see a Psychiatrist every few months and he renews or changes. I haven't found anyone good at the VA that I can actually talk to that I feel cares so I just go for the basics and meds. I am on effexor (morning and night) clonazapam when needed for anxiety attacks and at night to help me sleep. I think the latest thing he has me on is trazadone to help me sleep but it gives me such a hangover I usually dont take it. No, I haven't had a vacation in a year. I contacted my childhood BFF in FL and I think I might plan a getaway to visit her while my husband is at the VA getting his help. I also am thinking about going to an MST support group tomorrow night at the VA hosp. Have you tried one of those? Does it help? How can I message you privately? I read briefly something about marching on DC. Hey, if you guys are gonna do that...count me in. Honest to God...something needs to be done...so many of us. God bless you and thank you again for caring. It helps to know someone, even one person cares when you feel like no one really does....((hugs))

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Mystic. Not sure why I wasn't notified that you responded to me. I'm not very technical and I'm sure through the tears the past few days and lack of sleep I'm not too quick on the draw. Thank you for your concern. I do go the VA for my meds. I see a Psychiatrist every few months and he renews or changes. I haven't found anyone good at the VA that I can actually talk to that I feel cares so I just go for the basics and meds. I am on effexor (morning and night) clonazapam when needed for anxiety attacks and at night to help me sleep. I think the latest thing he has me on is trazadone to help me sleep but it gives me such a hangover I usually dont take it. No, I haven't had a vacation in a year. I contacted my childhood BFF in FL and I think I might plan a getaway to visit her while my husband is at the VA getting his help. I also am thinking about going to an MST support group tomorrow night at the VA hosp. Have you tried one of those? Does it help? How can I message you privately? I read briefly something about marching on DC. Hey, if you guys are gonna do that...count me in. Honest to God...something needs to be done...so many of us. God bless you and thank you again for caring. It helps to know someone, even one person cares when you feel like no one really does....((hugs))

Celli, Im glad you saw my post. I was wonderin where you had gone. Sounds like a plan, eh! You NEED a vacation, and if its Florida, then its Florida, I dont like the sound of what Im hearing bout the va and just the basics. thats what I was doin. But that trauma group sounds fan friggin tastik! woo hoo, yes go ! That great. ya need people that can relate. I wish we would march on washington, yeah buddy that would be t*ts! Im feeling kinda goofy this am,and hope all is well with you. Ill try an pm you with my email, tho its just my name at hotmail.com. you can figure it out probably. HUGS!! Mystic

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I also am thinking about going to an MST support group tomorrow night at the VA hosp. Have you tried one of those? Does it help?

celli,

You might want to also check out:

www.vetcenter.va.gov

Tell them it relates to MST.

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